…for us to ever get to a new level, a new tomorrow, or the next step, something has to end. — Dr. Henry Cloud
Most of us learned how to start things, but few of us ever learned how to end things. Creating endings is not something we like to do. It requires change. Rocking the boat. Maybe even throwing someone (or ourselves) overboard. Ouch.
We delay making the necessary change out of fear. Life feels disrupted as it is. Why should we introduce another problem? And we convince ourselves, If I stop investing my time and resources here, this person is going to be mad at me. Yes, they might be. Or, what if I can’t end this relationship?, when you know it’s unhealthy for you. The weight of the confrontation is too great.
So we stick it out. Hope it will improve. A year goes by. Then another. And another. The only ending we get good at is ending back where we started.
In his book Necessary Endings: The Employees, Businesses, and Relationships That All of Us Have to Give Up in Order to Move Forward, best-selling author Dr. Henry Cloud explains what is at stake when we refuse to force an ending.
He calls it the pruning moment, “that clarity of enlightenment when we become responsible for making the decision to either own the vision or not” (page 24). To own the vision. Place your stake in what you have believed all along you should be working toward and start moving in that direction, be it improving your current job situation, paving toward a new career, pursuing an idea, discovering your calling, or re-prioritizing your most important relationships. Often, it’s several.
What I love about Dr. Cloud’s book is he doesn’t encourage you to blindly make sacrificial decisions. There may be no such thing as a stupid question, but there are undeniably stupid decisions. This book helps you avoid this mistake by employing wisdom instead.
Every worthy venture, however, requires risk, and Dr. Cloud does not shy away from this paradox. He helps you analyze your situation, choose which buds and branches of opportunities are the best ones to keep, and which should be pruned (even some very good ones).
The result? The best blossoms of who you are and what you have to offer. The richest of relationships. And the savvy for a lifetime of finishing well.
Necessary Endings is not written for business readers alone. Dr. Cloud applies the truth from both a personal and professional point of view. You will no doubt find it applicable to all aspects of your life.